HOME TRUTHS: Lesley

Name Lesley

Age 73

Lives in Melbourne

Please finish this sentence: Home is… the place where there is my husband, peace, a garden, books, people who share my values. And possibly a good stove, a sharp knife and chillies.

Describe your childhood home

I had two childhood homes, one in Colombo Ceylon (as it was then known), one in Canberra.

In Colombo, we lived in my grandfather’s large bungalow set in spacious grounds. The house was open and airy and housed 4 adult members of the family and 4 servants. I was the only child and so, much indulged. In the formal room where guests were received, there hung a huge photograph of me with my favourite doll. When we ate together, all 5 of us, we ate at a table that could seat 14. 

Many fruit trees surrounded the house: gauvas, custard apples, jack fruit, sapodilla, bananas. Fruit, seafood, vegetables, and sometimes wild boar were bought from hawkers who carried produce in baskets, often on their heads.

There was a large lawn in front of the house and there, in the evening, my parents and their friends would gather for drinks before dinner.

It sounds idyllic and it was until 1959 when riots broke out following the assassination of the Prime Minister. Screaming mobs roamed the streets, and our neighbours, Tamils, targets, were terrified and relied on us for food. Members of our extended family scurried around sharing food. I remember being shocked at being hungry and only having one small meal on some days. Ironically, my childhood in Colombo shaped my food tastes.  

Did you ever have to make a home away from home?

My other childhood home was in Canberra after we left Ceylon. We arrived there in the middle of winter in 1952. There were just my parents and me. My mother had never had to cook so at first we ate lots of bread and butter. Her attempt to vary our diet was a disaster as she did not realise that to boil an egg you have to put water in the pot. A generous friend taught her to cook and she became a wonderful cook.

We are Catholics and the church and school provided us with good, lifelong friends and great experiences, despite a few difficult early moments. Teachers at the school could not believe that a girl around 5, especially one from Asia, could read. It was also the time of 105 students in a class, so it was a long time before I was tested and freed from colouring in all day. It was also the time when teachers believed that all should be right-handed. Undaunted by the fact that I could write a few sentences with my left hand they tried to change that so that, for a while, I could not write at all. The teachers were not the only ones who were puzzled by the first brown girl they had met. They thought I was Indigenous and should eat witchetty grubs, so they stole my sandwiches. I was so unhappy that I refused to go to school and, when my father tried to walk me there, I sat down on the sidewalk and howled. Passers-by, thinking he was hurting me began to abuse him. He persisted and got me to school where I later made many friends.

So, when people ask me where I come from, I sometimes answer Canberra, as that is where my oldest friends were and where I learned that reading and learning were important to my happiness.

Since then I have lived in three other places: Sydney, Canberra again, Peterborough (Canada) and Singapore.

Where’s home for you? 

Home to me now is Melbourne, with my husband and friends of varying generations and interests, where I have a stockpile of books and the opportunity to advocate for my beliefs and encourage young women to follow paths of their choosing.

What does home mean to you? 

All this moving has taught me that if a woman has two beautiful (but sturdy) wine glasses, copies of Thucydides’ Peloponnesian Wars and Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, a willingness to make friends and plenty of books, there is nowhere she cannot be content.

It helps to have had an education and the confidence that comes from having been told from an early age that there is nothing a brown, left-handed woman cannot do.

Do you have any home truths for people dealing with the impacts of the Covid-19 pandemic?

Most of us need patterns and routine. In these plans for each week, include things you can see as achievements, with rewards interspersed during each day. Build a good deed into each day’s routine and remember we are lucky to have wise bureaucrats, and politicians who act on their advice.

 Interview Maria O’Dwyer Illustration Jessica Cruikshank