Stepping in and turning off
Last week, I headed out for my semi-regular, socially distanced walk by the river, accompanied by podcast of choice. This time, it was This American Life’s latest episode – and the theme was being trapped in small spaces. The final story of the show hit the hardest: it was about a group of musicians who, since 1988, have been playing the same music for ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ night after night. And then, with COVID-19, they stopped. Everything stopped. Those musicians, baked into 32-odd years of routine, are now experiencing something fairly discombobulating: a change.
It’s something that the entirety of Melbourne – and to an extent, perhaps wider Australia – is familiar with. Across 2020, our routine has changed, and changed again. The rhythm of our lives has been upended across the year, and the coping mechanisms we have used are now slowly being discarded.
In amongst this, there’s been an inclination for us to be switched ‘on’. Whether endlessly sanitising our hands or booking a meeting on a day off, this year has brought about a proverbial pick-up truck’s worth of attentiveness and additional labour. And unsurprisingly, the lion’s share of this has been done by women. Women in Australia are, on average, doing four hours of additional work per day in supervising children, and general household duties, compared to two hours for their male partners. And this isn’t even considering the work done by single mothers, and others with caring duties.
But when our time is constantly spent being ‘on’, how do we flick the switch back to ‘off’? Part of this is what’s been dubbed ‘re-entry syndrome’, or reverse culture shock: the feeling of adaptation after returning home from living overseas. Typical symptoms include anxiety, mood fluctuations, and a feeling of being overwhelmed. And if my experience whilst visiting my local shopping centre this week is anything to go by, then we’re in for a particularly hard landing after our collective re-entry.
Switching ‘off’ isn’t as simple as collectively chucking our phones in the nearest river and giving our bosses the finger. For many among us, being ‘on’ is what has kept food on the table, and our kids safe and well across this year. ‘On’ is a state of hyper-awareness, and during a pandemic it can be what keeps us alive. In some ways, this year has mostly been spent in a perpetual state of ‘on’. But long-term, there’s a need to demarcate space for us to switch ‘off’.
As we ease back into lighter restrictions, there are a few things we can do to simultaneously switch off, and tackle any lingering effects of re-entering the wider world.
Set your own pace. Don’t get on the beers with mates if you want to get on the soda water at home, with only the cat for company. Right now, you’re the best judge of what is and is not an acceptable limit. If your best way to switch off during a pandemic is to binge watch a show in your pyjamas, then that’s what you should do.
Don’t measure yourself against others. This goes hand in hand with the above, as everyone has a different pace. If you’re the social equivalent of Phar Lap, who can’t switch off without a friend for company, then you might be overjoyed at the easing of restrictions. But if you’re more of a sluggish donkey in the socialising stakes, then don’t be tempted to suddenly book in to see your entire social circle just because you can. If you wouldn’t do it before lockdown, don’t feel you have to now.
Sometimes, a recalibration is needed. Now that restrictions are easing up, our ‘on’ switches need a little update to reflect the wider circumstances. In short: it’s okay to say a “no”, when before you might have felt obligated to give a “yes” – or vice-versa. This year has been nothing but a series of changes, and as we reclaim our time ‘off’, our responses can change, too.
All of this is circumstantial, and some of us might have it easier than others. As you’re re-entering our COVID-normal world, have a think about your loved ones. Do you have space to help them re-adapt, or lend some time so they can find their ‘off’ switch? And finally, remember that age-old adage we learnt from aeroplanes: pop your oxygen mask on first, and don’t forget to help others.
Article written by Jessamy Gleeson